PISA, ITALY – A wave of disappointment has swept through Italy as thousands of tourists have taken to social media to express their deep sadness and betrayal upon discovering that the Leaning Tower of Pisa is, in fact, not made of pizza.
“I came here expecting the world’s biggest slice of pepperoni goodness,” said Kyle Robertson, a college student from Ohio, who stood in front of the historic tower holding an empty marinara jar. “I even brought a breadstick for dipping. But it’s just… bricks. Cold, tasteless bricks.”
Robertson is not alone. A recent survey of international tourists found that one in five visitors to Pisa expected the tower to be made of pizza, with some even bringing cheese graters, oregano, or, in extreme cases, a personal pizza cutter.
“I thought it was a giant crust holding up the city,” admitted Amanda Whitmore from Manchester, tears welling in her eyes. “I told my kids they could take a bite out of history. Now they’re just crying in the gift shop.”
The confusion appears to stem from a viral misinformation campaign (also known as ‘American common sense’), which has led many to believe that Italy, home of pizza, would naturally have a monumental pizza-based structure. A TikTok video with over 10 million views claimed the tower was “originally a giant mozzarella stick” but had “hardened over time due to climate change.”
Local officials in Pisa are reportedly frustrated yet unsurprised by the growing number of angry tourists. “Every week, we have at least a dozen people asking for a slice,” said museum guide Luigi Moretti, rubbing his temples. “Last summer, a guy from Texas tried to order a ‘double pepperoni Pisa’ and was furious when I told him it was a UNESCO site, not a pizzeria.”
To address the crisis, the Pisa Tourism Board is considering new strategies, including:
Adding melted cheese projections on the tower at night to give it a “more pizza-like aura.”
Selling tiny edible Pisa towers made of actual pizza in hopes of calming disappointed tourists.
A warning sign at the entrance: “THIS IS NOT A CALZONE. PLEASE STOP LICKING THE TOWER.”
Despite the outrage, some tourists are finding a way to make the best of it. “Well, at least it still leans,” shrugged Derek Simmons from Canada, while biting into an actual slice of pizza from a nearby restaurant. “That’s kind of cool, I guess.”
For now, the city of Pisa urges visitors to manage their expectations and remember that not every Italian landmark is edible. A statement released this morning clarified: “The Colosseum is NOT a giant lasagna, and Michelangelo’s David is NOT made of white chocolate.”