Capricorn

April is your season of quiet judgment and over-functioning. You're holding the world together while everyone else spirals, and frankly, you're tired. In love, you want emotional depth but only on Wednesdays between 7-9pm. Your standards are sky-high, which explains your ongoing emotional solitude. Career? You’re killing it, and by ‘it,’ we mean your soul. You work so hard people assume you’re a robot. Financially? You’re the person everyone borrows money from and forgets to pay back. Health: You're healthy-ish, but mostly from fear of failure. Sleep? LOL. You’ve got goals to chase and existential dread to outrun.