Aquarius

April has you feeling detached, superior, and mildly annoyed at the human race—so basically, another Tuesday. Romance? You want intimacy without vulnerability, closeness without effort. Relationships confuse you unless they come with footnotes and existential theories. Career-wise, you’re either a genius or deeply confused. Either way, you’ll give your boss a TED Talk about ‘reinventing productivity’ while ignoring your inbox. Finances are stable, unless you blow it all on some weird startup idea. Health: Your body’s fine, but your sleep schedule is an abstract concept. Try touching grass. No, literally—go outside. The air won’t kill you. Probably.